My Word of the Year

I have noticed on blogs, Facebook, etc. that people are posting what their New Year's Resolutions are.    I will be the first to say that there are many things I would like to work on but the reality is that I would do well for a while then fall off the wagon.  Instead, I have adopted a word that I plan on taking to heart this year as I work to renew myself in the way that I think.  It is a word that everyone sees multiple times a day.  I chose this word because I do see it daily and when I look at it, I will be reminded of the vow I am making to myself.  The word is:

STOP.

(1).  Stop the comparisons.  I am tired of feeling like I am not as good as so and so.  I am tired of comparing myself to others.  I am tired of thinking that I will never be as good as so and so.   It is something I have brought upon myself and it has got to stop because the only person it is hurting is me.  I need to let it go and be happy with who I am.

(2.) Stop beating myself up about my kids "quirks".  Everyone who knows us knows that my kids are the pickiest eaters on this planet.  Carson is better than Caylee and as he gets older, his eating habits are changing, but Caylee is a different story.  For example, last night, we were at the in-laws watching the game.  The kids' cousins were there (they live in another state).  MIL had made my chicken taco soup.  My kids, of course, basically only ate the chips and cheese and maybe two bites of the soup while the cousins devoured the soup.  My MIL commented that she will have to share the recipe with their mom (my SIL) because the girls ate it.  I immediately said, "while mine just ate the chips and cheese".  Now, my MIL meant nothing toward me when she made that comment but my reaction was to beat myself up because mine didn't eat it.  My FIL offered a hot dog that was in the refrigerator for Caylee (he mentioned it to me, not her) and I told him that our rule is that they must eat what is fixed or nothing.  I know it sounds harsh but it is a battle turned into an all out war.  It is hard to go to a party and have to explain to the hostess that Caylee probably won't eat what is there because she doesn't like anything served.  She doesn't like any sweets (other than Dunkin Donuts), will not eat any fruit unless it is an apple or a banana, and her pallete for vegetables is quite slim as well.  Doctors tell me not to worry about it but they don't live it everyday.  I blame the fact that I was working a highly stressful job when both of my kids were little and making healthy, balanced meals was not at the top of my priority list.  I was exhausted ALL THE TIME when they were babies and we ate out a lot.  If I could go back in time, I would have quit my job when Carson was born and focused on the kids instead of my career.  

(3). Stop wanting what others appear to have.  This is something I have really struggled with as of lately.  I let social media get to me and I think it is time I step away (see #4).  When I see someone post an outfit, something for their home, a new purse they bought, new makeup, the date night they went on with their spouse, or something that their spouse bought or did for them- whatever it is, I think to myself, "oh wow. I would like to have the money to buy that." Or, "I wonder how she can afford that if she is a SAHM".   Or, "Chad has never done that for me."  I am one blessed woman- I get that.  I get to stay home while Chad is the breadwinner.  We have worked damn hard for what we have.  We live in a nice house, drive nice cars, and wear decent clothes.  I will admit, though, that I am envious of the lifestyle that some lead.  I have got to STOP my way of thinking and REFOCUS  on what I do have and be GRATEFUL for that.  I know that what people post online is what they WANT you to see and may not be exactly how things are.

(4).  Stop turning to Facebook and social media for interactions and start making efforts for face to face interactions with people.  I am so close to deleting my Facebook account permanently.  I found myself scrolling through posts a lot and wasting precious time.  I have taken Facebook off of my phone and will probably take a break from it for a while- particularly during baseball season (a whole other story!)

I hope this inspires some of my readers to think about a word or phrase that you want to adopt this year.  I am not perfect by any means; I just want to be a better me- be the wife and mother that my kids and spouse deserve.

Happy 2015!